Spiritual Gas Tank

When I first started driving my dad would never fail to remind me of a few things before I would leave to go somewhere. Always look behind your car before you back out, check your blind spots, always drive defensively, etc. Most of these things I don't hear anymore, but one thing has stayed: "never let your car get below half a tank of gas." At twenty two years of age I still get a "talking to" if he gets in my car and I'm running low. What I didn't know was one day I would be able to apply this simple life lesson from my dad to my spiritual life. 

While in Training in Guatemala, we spent hours and hours everyday in the Word, praying, and discussing the work of Jesus in our lives. It was routine. It was simple. Everything we did and everywhere we went revolved around growing us spiritually. I learned the power of prayer, the sovereignty of God, and the undeniable truth that Jesus must be the center of my life. When I left to go home for a week I was on a spiritual high and ready to take on the world!  

I'm now three weeks into Field Time and things are tough. Over the past few days I have found myself irritable, frustrated, annoyed, upset, angry, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions. I have a bad attitude and I have no patience for those around me. If you read my last post, I am in no way adorning the Gospel. This morning I happened to wake up at 5:30 (God's doing I'm sure) so I had extra time to pray. What he showed me was profound and a turning point for me here.

God showed me my "spiritual gas tank" is running low. In Training, I had pastors coming from all over the world to sit down and teach me the Word of God for a week. I didn't have to put forth too much personal effort into feeding myself. I was like a teenager with a driving permit whose parents filled up the tank for them, but now I have my license and it's my turn to pump my own gas. Running on fumes is not an option. That is not how God made me to work. I need to fill myself on a daily basis with his truths and promises so he can use me for his kingdom. He can't do that if I am empty on the side of the road upset, angry, and impatient. 

Adorning the Gospel - Titus 2:10

"....but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior."

Titus 2:10 (ESV)

This week I was posed a very difficult question. One I doubt many of us really want to think about or ask ourselves. One I know I didn't want to ask myself. 

"If someone was to evaluate your life, what would they see? Would it be love? Would it be joy?" 

Would it be love? Would it be joy? What about peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23)? If someone looked at me, would they really see the fruit of the Spirit, or would they see the yucky works of the flesh? I'm sure I don't need to tell you twice if you have spent any time around me that I don't always display the fruit of the Spirit. And I wouldn't say that the first word a person would use to describe me would be love or joy. I can show Christ's love and I can have the joy of the Lord, but most of the time I allow other things to dirty the vessel God is trying to use. 
This week when I came across Titus 2:10, I was reminded of the importance of my place in bringing the Gospel to all nations. I am supposed to "adorn" the Gospel. Or in other words, I am supposed to live my life in a way that makes the most beautiful thing that has ever existed shine even more beautifully to those around me. That is not something to be taken lightly! How can I do this if I don't show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? How can I do this if when people look at me the works of the flesh cloud the work God has done in my life? 
This solution is simple. I am a work in progress and I always will be, but the only way that I can continue to grow in my walk with Christ is to be in communion with him always. I need to be in the Word. I need to be reminded of the fruit of the Spirit. I need to confess when I have fallen short. I need to pray without ceasing. I need to know him more so I know how to be more like him. The more I am in communion with the Maker of the doctrine, the more easily he can shape me to adorn it. 

Leaving Home - Mark 10:28-30

Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. 

Mark 10:28-30 (ESV)

My first day here in Costa Rica I came across this verse during my morning devotion. How appropriate it was considering I had just left my family (again) to venture to a foreign country that wasn't of my choosing. Upon arriving, to be completely honest, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to handle the heat, humidity, and insane amount of bugs. Luckily, I had something with me that couldn't be packed in a suitcase: the full knowledge that where Jesus guides he provides. Somehow, someway, he would show me in these six months how to love this place and even more importantly, why he wants me here. Just like he did in Guatemala. 
I know in the coming months there will be days that are difficult. There will be moments that I want to pack my suitcase and get on the next available flight. There will be mornings that I can't get my shirt on right because my back is so sticky with sweat and I'll just want to scream. I know all this is promised, but I also know because of verses like Mark 10:28-30, that Jesus has me here so I can bless others and he in turn, will bless me as well.
And oh, are there blessings! Although I have left my friends and family behind, he has made sure that I am surrounded by people who love me here. The kids are absolutely amazing. I have never seen a more perfect example of Christ's love than the love these kids have shown for Whitney and me from the moment we arrived. It's unconditional, without reason, and crosses the barriers of language. It brings tears to my eyes just writing of this kind of love. Blessings like these are a constant reminder that Jesus doesn't take us from what is comfortable to make us miserable, he takes us from what is comfortable so we can experience new kinds of blessings that cannot be found within the walls of our own desires. 

IGNITE Training Experience

            In January of 2013 I found myself brokenhearted, depressed, and empty. I was searching for something, anything, that would get me out of the hole I found myself in. Fortunately, in the depths of my heart I knew what the answer to my problem was. I had grown up Catholic and began attending a non-denominational church in 2007, so I had the knowledge in my head of Jesus. I knew it was time to let that knowledge travel the fifteen inches from my head to my heart and begin to follow him. So in March of 2013, I picked up my cross and began following Jesus Christ with all I had.
That following July I was offered the opportunity to be a counselor at my church's high school youth camp in Whitefish, Montana, at Potter's Field Ranch. There I met Jordan and Meg, two staff member's of Potter's Field and recent IGNITE interns. They both told me about their experience in the program and encouraged me to pray about applying. Before I even left Montana that week, I knew God wanted me to come here. I was very excited to put hands and feet to my new life I was living. I finished college and prepared to be apart of IGNITE Class 7.
I'm now here in Guatemala, fifteen months later, finishing up my last week in the training phase of the IGNITE program. I have had the opportunity to work with children in the Potter's Field Kid's Club on a weekly basis, participate in several community outreaches, visit patients at a local hospital, and help with various events held on the property. In the classroom I have learned the Inductive Bible Study method, studied the Book of Acts, read many books by authors like Warren Wiersbe and Roy Hession, and studied the lives of various missionaries, just to name a few things. I also was exposed to many hands on types of ministry like miming, puppetry, and skits. All of these different experiences gave me the opportunity to grow and trust in the Lord in ways I never had before.
When I first arrived here in Guatemala, one of my fellow classmates asked me, "What do you expect to get out of this program." All I could answer was that I knew God was going to blow me away. I didn't know what He had in store for me here but I knew it would me more than I could imagine. Sitting here reflecting on my experience, He did just what I expected. I was stretched more than I had ever been stretched. I learned more about Him than I had ever learned. I prayed more than I had ever prayed. I was exhorted more than I had ever been exhorted.
He used all of this to teach me two very important lessons. First, He is sovereign over everything. He has control over every single intimate detail of what goes on in the world and in this, He always has our best interests in mind. I can let go of all the anxieties caused by my fleshly desire to control my life. His way is always the best way. Second, I learned I must die to self on a consistent moment to moment basis. Nothing in me is good so I must find myself broken before Him every morning I awake. This brokenness is one of the most beautiful states we can be in because we can then be filled with the Holy Spirit. When we are filled we are ready to go and do His work. These two profound lessons have radically changed my relationship with Jesus. With the understanding of His sovereignty and my brokenness, I'm prepared to go out onto the field and serve the Costa Rican people. Even more importantly, no matter where He sends me, I know who He is and who I am in Him.  

1 Corinthians 9:25

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 

1 Corinthians 9:25 (ESV)

In this verse Paul continues the metaphor of the athlete. Here, he is likening self-control of an athlete to the determination of a follower of Christ to make disciples. When we are at the end of our lives, those we helped lead to Christ will be the imperishable prize. They will be in heaven with us for eternity. Anything else we choose to focus on in this life will be just like the wreaths athletes gain, quick to perish.
With my eyes set on eternity, it becomes a lot easier to handle the difficult things of this world. For me, making disciples can be a very uncomfortable process. Many already have their walls up when the name "Jesus" is mentioned or they are clinging to their own religious traditions so tightly they can't see God's grace. One of the classes in training is called Speaking the Word. We were all given different made-up circumstances in which we had 1 to 3 minutes to convey the Gospel message to the classmate next to us. I had to pretend to share with a women as I was waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk. While the situation wasn't real, it was still very difficult! I'm so grateful that when these kinds of opportunities really do arise, I have the promise of that person's salvation to encourage me through the hard times. This imperishable wreath at the end of everything makes it all worth it.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 

1 Corinthians 9:24 (ESV)

Paul frequently uses metaphors involving athletic competitions throughout his epistles. I like this technique because it paints you a visual picture of what he is trying to convey. For example, in this particular verse, I see eight runners positioned to run the race. The gun goes off and they all begin running. As they complete each lap, some of the runners lose their footing and slow down a bit, others get distracted by the person next to them passing them up, a few maintain their focus on the finish line. Even amongst the few, only one will ultimately win the race. They will receive the gold metal at the end.
I believe that Paul painted this picture to compare to our walk as Christians on our way to Heaven. Many of us will sign up for the race. With good intentions we will read our bibles, participate in bible studies, and go to church. Unfortunately, when life gets tough and trips us up, some will get distracted by worldly things and fall behind. Others will let people around them distract them from the finish line. Only very few will take what Jesus did seriously enough to make it to Heaven, to win the race.
We have to run the race like we mean it. Everyday, every step we take needs to be purposeful and intentional. Every step needs to be in the direction Jesus is beckoning. There will be distractions, trip ups, people who push and shove us along the way, but we have the promise of the prize at the end, regardless of what we have to go through to get there. Not only that, but Jesus will always  be running right beside us.

1 Corinthians 9:22-23

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. 

1 Corinthians 9:22-23 (ESV)

As I was preparing to come to Guatemala, I went through a bible study that we were encouraged to do prior to arriving to training. The study was broken up into topics, one of them being flexibility. Under this topic was 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. Out of the whole bible study this was one of the biggest things that hit me. I had never heard this verse before and It was so comforting to read. I felt like it was a mini guidebook written to teach us how to minister to people who we didn't have a lot in common with. As I was about to venture to Central America, I thought this was very fitting for me.
Showing up here, I didn't know a lot about the culture. It was intimidating the first few times we went into town or even when I conversed with the local people at church on Sunday. The last thing I wanted was to stick out like a tourist and not be taken seriously. I wanted to love on these people and share the gospel message with them. I didn't want who I was outwardly to affect how they saw me inwardly. This is a struggle I'm still learning to adjust to.
The biggest thing God has taught me through entering a new culture is that I just need to be made willing to be used by him. There are barriers that are inevitable, there are ways to approach different situations, and ultimately, there is a lot to learn about sharing the gospel in a different area of the world. But, God's grace follows me everywhere. As long as I allow him to use me, the Holy Spirit is there to guide me through it, give me the words, and to give me the strength.